Another Sunday

Still fight with my shoulder. Must have slept on it wrong because I woke up hurting like crazy. I'm trying to be good and not do the things I'm not supposed to. It's a lot easier to be good when I don't take anything for the pain.....if it hurts, I don't use it or over use it. But of course that means I'm in pain and that actually sucks a bunch.

I have such a busy couple of weeks ahead and it's starting to worry me. I have a bachelorette party to plan/go to. I'm really not into dancing but that's what the bride would like so we're going to dinner and then to a club. I also have the rehearsal, helping with the flowers, picking up my dress and something else I can't think of at the moment. I also have a graduation (the bride's) next weekend too.

It just seems a bit overwhelming right now. Mostly because I have all this stuff coming up and I'm hurting so much right now and I still have to work. I used to thrive on all this super stress but now I hate it. I just feel like everything is coming at me full speed and I'm wearing cement socks (I still have a sense of humor)

And I know this doesn't have anything to do with weddings or working or anything but my stupid computer is fucked up, the PC not my laptop. The stupid thing has stopped recognizing the CD drives. It just doesn't see them there. I can't run anything and now I can't get my router hooked up (or the printer that has been sitting on the desk for 2 months). I really wanted to get my wireless signal working so I can get online and not be bumped off. It's just one more thing on my list of things that have to be taken care of.

I am also having problems with some other writing I'm trying to do. My sponsor has agree to let me type my step work instead of doing it by hand and I'm having trouble completing one of the assignments. It's a mini autobiography. It's hard to write because it's my past and all the things that helped make me the addict I am today. I've gotten up to my first stint in rehab at 15, but it's getting harder and harder to work on. I just don't like reliving all the crap that has happened in my life. It's not as bad as a 4th step but it's still my history and what, to me, feels like all my dirty little secrets. I've been trying to work on it but I get into a crappy place when I do, so I haven't because I'm already in a crappy place physically. I know I need to get it together and just write. I did start my gratitude list and I am trying to get my definitions of steps 1-3 started. But the reality is, I NEED to work on the auto. I need to get that out of me.

So that's where I am. Think I'm going to kick back and watch Grey's Anatomy, finally. See ya.